Happiness? It’s all relative.
I started working and immediately started travelling, planning 1 holiday a year that would keep me going. I met Rishav, dreamt about getting engaged and then getting married, and planning the perfect honeymoon. And now, life has gotten to a stage where I’m travelling internationally once every 2 months. And I could travel more if I wanted, I just have a fulltime job in the way. If you studied Economics- you’ll know about marginal utility. IE when you’re craving an ice cream, the first ice cream tastes alot better than the tenth. So the more you do something, the less appealing it becomes. It’s human nature. I know, some of my more spiritual readers (and friends!) are going to tell me I need to find happiness “within” and I should be happy with myself wherever I am, whatever I have, but I’m not there yet… so bear with me.
So I’m in a bit of a conundrum. I’m not as happy as I should be, despite life being pretty much peachy. I don’t have much to look forward to, and my day to day life doesn’t thrill me. I’m desperate for some sort of change, a new adventure. I’m not unhappy in my job, I have a great group of friends in Jozi, Rishav and I are pretty much settled and could easily carry on doing the same thing for the next 5-10 years. I guess it’s about what you want from life. I don’t want a baby and a nice(r) car and a big house. I look at people who have that and it seems so normal, so boring. I want to see the world, eat local food, learn a foreign language, be immersed in different cultures, be stimulated intellectually and wake up everyday being passionate about the work I’m going to do that day. Who’s to say that’s not possible? I’m partially interested in my financial markets career and partially passionate about writing- not willing to dedicate my life 100% to either and give up on one.
Which has led me to the following conclusion: I’m going to do my MBA- overseas. After tons of research, I’ve narrowed down the 5-6 schools I’m going to apply to, which are all in the top 20 schools in the world. Problem: an MBA costs a million rand. I’m not even going to bother doing it at an average school that isn’t recognized internationally. Obviously I don’t have even close to a million rand, but if I sell my house and my car and gather up scraps of money and take a student loan I should be okay. The money is secondary, I know I’ll make it up. I’m not fussed about having a “nest egg” for “some day”. The opportunity is here, now, and if I don’t make the move now I never will. When unsure of what to do, education is never a bad idea, and there’s no better investment than an investment in yourself- intellectual capital has limitless returns.
Of course, my husband comes first and we’re going to figure it out together, coming to a solution which doesn’t lead us to living separate lives in different cities. I’m so grateful that we’re completely compatible and aligned on what we want our futures to be like.
So, I write my GMAT exam at the end of this month, which is the first step in getting into a good MBA school. It’s half Maths, half English which pretty much replicates my life (half treasury analyst, half journalist) so I’m actually enjoying the studying. That doesn’t mean it’s easy though and I need to get a really good score to even consider applying to the best schools.
I feel like writing this cements it in a way, and if this blog has taught me anything- it’s that if you put feelers out into the universe, opportunities come your way. Nothing is going to happen if all your dreams are inside your head- you need to DO something.
So this is me doing something… hopefully I don’t come back to SA unemployed in two year’s time with my tail between my legs- but at least I’ll know I tried, and I didn’t stick with the safe route.
I’ll keep you posted on the developments, unless they’re bad, then I’ll probably shut up 😀
Thanks for reading my quasi- journal-ling!
x H
August 14, 2013 @ 9:49 am
This is soooo hectic omg!!
I feel like ALL the time and I’m glad you are going to take the leap.
Fantastic and all the best to you 🙂
http://www.simplysiyaam.com
August 14, 2013 @ 10:31 am
What a awesum honest post! Best of luck with your new ventures. I was thinking about something you said about happiness within, which is true to be happy with yourself, but there is a difference with determination, goals and drive. That’s what you have :)You are happy with yourself,but its your desire to achieve and be out there that is pushing you. Which is a great quality. (Just my 2 cents :))
All the best
xxx
August 14, 2013 @ 10:35 am
OMG, this is exactly how I feel and the only way for me to live out my dreams is to quit my corporate job and study my MBA in the USA. I too look at people with the big house and fancy cars and think, wow, that’s so normal and I don’t want to be that. I’m not as far as you with doing my GMAT but I’m at the research phase. Wishing you the best of luck!
August 14, 2013 @ 10:42 am
Wow! I am going through the exact same situation. And today I was forced to let go of the edge of the pool. In the long run, it’s for the best.
August 14, 2013 @ 11:53 am
Thanks guys! It makes me feel better that there are more people like me out there 🙂
I’ll keep you posted on how things go, my hubby and I both write GMAT on the 28th of this month.
August 14, 2013 @ 6:14 pm
Good luck Hasmita. Hope it all works out. I really admire how you are never afraid of trying new things and taking chances that allow u to do the things that make u happy!
August 14, 2013 @ 7:35 pm
Good Luck 🙂 live your dreams
August 15, 2013 @ 2:12 am
Hi Hasmita
This is such a brave post, I appreciate your honesty and can totally relate. Going through a similar phase in my life, but more sure that I really want to stay blogging and writing and live the dream. Good luck with your MBA. I think you have made a good choice here. Investing in education is something that you will never regret.
August 6, 2014 @ 2:11 pm
Hasmita, hello from Kyrgyz Republic! I’ve just read your blog…this is absolutely amazing! I’m also planning to do my MBA. INSEAD is my dream business school. Thank you so much for such inspirational posts! I don’t know you, but I’m really happy for you! Wish you good luck and happiness in life! Jamilya
August 6, 2014 @ 3:53 pm
Thanks so much for the kind words, all the best with your MBA journey!