It seems strange that people are so terrified of something that is inevitably going to happen to everyone. It also fascinates me how we mourn the death of our loved ones for years after they have passed on. Why do we let death affect us so much, when we know our parents, older siblings and even pets are most likely going to leave the earth before we do?
I, like most of you reading this, have lost loved ones in the past and have displayed the exact behaviour that I question in the paragraph above. It is never easy. It is, however, something that needs to be accepted. Everyone is going to die sooner or later, and life needs to go on for the rest of us. I believe that cherishing memories of the person’s life and celebrating their legacy, rather than mourning it, is the way forward.
My heart goes out to parents who have lost children, or to young people who die in freak accidents and I understand why the death of these people is much more difficult to accept than say, the death of someone in their 80’s or 90’s. However, the point is- it IS going to happen to you and everyone around you one day. Being in denial or wishing for their return is pointless.
Some people gain comfort from telling themselves that the person that has passed on is in a “better place”, or will come back to earth reincarnated as a new born baby. I am aware that all religions have different views of the “afterlife”. I can’t logically imagine us dying and then floating up into the air to be among clouds and angels. Nor can I comprehend the reality of bad people ending up in a fiery cauldron. I am also sceptical about reincarnation as to date; there has been no proof of the soul actually existing. John Edwards is not proof. As I am not religious, preconceived religious beliefs do not taint my objective outlook on death. I realise that this may be more difficult for people whose religion is a core part of their life.
But, try to put your religion aside for a moment and think about this logically. If neither of the above fallacies have been confirmed, and no one has come back from the dead to tell us what it’s like, I’m left to believe that when we die, life ends and that’s it. Nothing happens after that. Not even the most qualified biologists or scientists have been able to prove the “migration” of the soul. No proof of heaven or hell exists.
So what now?
– Enjoy your friends and family while they are still with you. Don’t say anything to them that you would regret later. Death can spring up on anyone, anytime
– Don’t spend hours longing for the presence of people who have passed on. Rather focus on the good memories you have with them
– Whatever your beliefs about the afterlife are, take them with a pinch of salt and try not to focus too much on them
As the well known quote goes:
“I wish for serenity to accept the things I can’t change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference”
PS. I am going to Mauritius tomorrow (YAY), so I won’t be blogging for a while. Expect a detailed blog on the beautiful island when I return, as well as 2 competitions in Feb. See you in a week!